Boris Diaw Crashes A Chick's Bachelorette Party

Huff Po – What better way to spend your final moments as a single lady than in the arms of a hunky, NBA champion? One bride-to-be lived that dream when San Antonio Spurs power forward Boris Diaw crashed her bachelorette party in Lake Travis, Texas and then planted a big fat kiss on her cheek. Her friend posted a picture of the momentous occasion to Reddit Tuesday and gave a little explainer as to how the whole thing happened: “My friend was at Lake Travis for a bachelorette party when she saw that Boris had tweeted about being on the lake for the day. She told her friends and they were joking about riding around the lake shouting ‘BORIS’, and he actually heard them from a boat away saying his name. Boris immediately swam over to celebrate with them and asked if he could kiss the bachelorette. She also claimed that they sang ‘All I do is win win win no matta what.'”

CANCEL. I repeat. CANCEL the fucking wedding. There’s a lot of stuff I can tolerate in a relationship. There’s a lot of hardships where you gotta look the other way. But getting stuffed by Boris Diaw on a lake is not one of them. That would haunt me forever. You know how some brides get all up tight and won’t allow strippers at their husband’s bachelor party? Well I hate to be the party pooper but there are no NBA players allowed at my wife’s bachelorette party.

Especially not Boris fucking Diaw. Like the worst part about that isn’t that she fucks a 6 foot 9 black dude, its that she didn’t even have enough self respect to bang a legit player. Like if she went around the lake yelling for Tony Parker or Tim Duncan, I might be able to tolerate that. I think I could let my wife fuck Tony Parker or Timmy D. Maybe even Manu Ginobli. Those are all acceptable. But Boris Diaw? You’re spinning around the lake in your boat yelling for Boris fucking Diaw to usher in the age of Romanticism inside you? Come on now. Most chicks wouldn’t even know who Boris Diaw is. Have some respect for yourself, have some respect for me, and have some respect for our relationship. You’re on a bachelorette party not filming some interracial cuckhold porno on a lake. Wear your sash and have little dick lollipops and play stupid games and DON’T fuck Boris Diaw.